Serious
by Yuki-and-Annabelle
Summary: Songfic to Serious by Gwen Stefani: Everything's going well-Bella's changed, the family's happy. Until they pay a visit to the Denali clan and Tanya attempts to claim Edward. Starts out humorous, gets dramatic. B/E forever!
1. Holy Shit!

Hello, my lovely readers

Hello, my lovely readers! I am, if I do say so myself, rather proud of this fic. For my humor readers, there is humor. For my drama readers, good Lord, is there drama. (mostly at the end.) To clue you in, in every single one of my stories, when I put things into the third person, they get serious (pun intended). This fic is after Bella is changed—and the ideas were all formed BEFORE BREAKING DAWN. So any similar factoids are purely coincidental. But there aren't many. It is about when Bella is in need of a bit more training, so they move up to Denali for a bit. And who's there but Tanya? T is for Tanya, T is for trouble. Sorry it took so long for me to write it, but I'm writing something else that I'll post when it's done. It's actually ludicrously long. And sorry this AN is so long!

So anyway, loyal readers, I now present to you for your stimulation and viewing pleasure:

Serious

EPOV

Things were good. After many tears while she was human and a bit of training after she was not, we were all happy. By this time, everyone had agreed that Bella was resembling Esme the most, with her sweet, girlish face and generous. We hadn't seen any particular powers, so we figured she must have brought some sort of concentrated personality trait.

But, with all the hardships, she was still simply the light of the family.

So, after an…interesting incident that ended with Bella having to make a fast exit through the roof of a shopping mall, we decided to pay a visit to the Denali clan for a while. She pouted a bid when Carlisle suggested it, claiming it was "only one mess-up."

This got me a bit worried, however (that we were going to see them.) I remember Bella's reaction when I told her of Tanya's advances. What I didn't say was that my rebuff didn't work very well. She simply ignored me, to my immense annoyance. There were many things Bella wouldn't like about Tanya, not least of them was the way she dressed. She could pass for a prostitute.

But anyway, there we were, in the car with Jasper and Alice. We were on our way, and naturally, I was driving. I had been contemplating how much Bella and Rosalie's friendship had progressed, but I'd long since moved on to looking at my beautiful wife. The frigid breeze toyed with her long dark hair. She felt my eyes on her and turned to face me with the soft smile she saves for me only.

Her expression soon turned to surprise, as did mine. Wild, high laughter sounded from the back. I turned to see Alice clutching her stomach in mirth. Before I could see what was going on in her mind, she said to Jasper,

"Distract…Edward…thoughts…"

Obediently Jasper began thinking my name over and over, so my mind automatically strayed to him. Between the seconds when my name was being called, I caught a few images—my shocked, surprised face, a fast swirl of Bella's hair, Tanya screaming, fire…

"Alice," I growled, "what did you see?"

Apparently she was still laughing too hard.

Well, it couldn't be _too_ bad, if Alice was laughing, I reasoned. But then again, there _was_ fire…I decided not to worry. Alice didn't have _that_ sick of a sense of humor.

We finally pulled up to their not-so-humble abode. High up in the mountains was a modern-looking, wide-spread house. With black and silver as the main colors, it looked like a much more fitting haunt for vampires than ours.

I was sure that Bella would get along with everyone; Kate, Irina, Carmen, and Eleazar were quite friendly. Tanya, I hoped, would be the same when she saw Bella and I were married.

At times, this power is a curse—of course, upon hearing Tanya's thoughts, I saw that this meeting could not go well.

BPOV

Baby, I don't know when the danger came

_I wanna find someone that I can blame_

We pulled up to their house and walked up the way. Carmen, Eleazar, Kate, and Irina all welcomed us with hugs. I was introduced and felt very welcomed; they were all so nice. But I was confused. Where was Tanya?

As if in answer to my question, the door flew open. And there she was.

Just as Edward said, she had strawberry-blonde hair, shoulder length. She looked like a _hooker,_ and walked swinging her hips excessively from side to side. She wore the single shortest skirt I'd ever seen, as well as strappy heels and a tube top that was much too small for my liking.

"Well, look who it is!" She trilled, throwing her arms out, exposing blood-red, talon-like nails. "Carlisle, Esme, how're things?" She shook their hands. "Rosalie, Emmett, always a pleasure!" She hugged them. "Jasper, Alice, welcome back!" She kissed them both and they both flinched slightly. "And…Edward," she purred lastly. She stood right in front of him now, and laid her claws—excuse me, hands—on his chest, apparently ignoring our clasped hands.

"I'm Bella. His wife." I introduced myself somewhat aggressively. All I knew was that I wasn't liking the looks of this hooch. Not at all.

Call the doctor cause I am sick in love

_And I can't help it_

EPOV

This couldn't turn out well. My sweet little Bella suddenly looked ferocious.

"Oh," Tanya sniffed in response. "Are you?"

"Yes." She said stiffly. I _really _didn't appreciate Tanya's hands on me, and it looked like Bella didn't either.

"Is this official?"

Bella's eyes turned black.

I felt it would be better for me to speak at this moment. "Yes, we're very happily married." I said, pushing her hands off me with my free one.

She observed Bella coolly. "Well, we'll see about that."

There was a very nasty silence in which Bella looked so vicious that _I _was starting to get scared.

Suddenly Bella's hand was hot in mine, as hot as when she was human. An extremely familiar angry flush filled her face. Her eyes turned red.

"Bella," I said, panicked. "Bella, are you alright?"

Tanya sneered. "Are you sure she's mentally stable, Edward?"

Abruptly everything within a half mile burst into flames—wild, leaping, devouring flames that rushed from the branches of angry, burning trees to feast themselves on Tanya's clothes.

"Holy shit!" Emmett yelled.

Tanya screamed, trying to beat out the fire.

"Bella!" I cried, more shocked than I'd been in my whole life. Small circles that were completely fire-free surrounded everyone except Tanya, who was still screaming.

Bella turned to me, looking more surprised than I felt. Once our eyes met, all the flames died, with no more evidence than the thick smoke covering everything in sight. Nothing was even charred, except for the sorry remains of Tanya's clothes. She covered herself with her hands, a white blur as she ran back into the house, screaming about revenge.

Bella cast a final look about her, at the heavy smoke, at the smoldering ruins of Tanya's shoes, at everyone's shocked faces.

She then promptly fainted.

--

Yes, that's right. This is a multi-chapter songfic. I had to do it, it would have been ridiculously long. But don't worry, my lovelies, it's all already written, so the rest will be coming out tonight…after I have dinner. So stay tuned!

Review! It's what keeps me alive!


	2. I'm Yours

I told you it'd be up soon

I told you it'd be up soon. Did you review? Review for every chapter no matter how fast they come out!

_Now, without further ado, I present the second chapter of _

Serious

EPOV

Baby, I'm worried about my mental state

_Don't know if I'll recuperate_

I carried Bella into the house, shaking at the what I had just seen, my family's thoughts burning in my head.

Bella awoke.

"Oh! Edward," she looked around frantically. "What happened? Did I lose conciousness? Is that possible for vampires? What did I _do_? What about the family? I—"

"Bella," I interrupted. "It's fine. Everything's fine. We'll see what Carlisle has to say. But, are _you_ alright? You're so _warm_," I marveled. It wasn't even as though it was only her face, she was warm all over, just like when she was human. Her being a normal human temperature was like a human having a 109 degree fever.

"Oh, I feel fine. Maybe a little warmer than usual. You feel cool again, though. Like how it used to be." She mused for a moment, then began to laugh.

"What?" I asked tersely. What could possibly amuse her at a time like this?

"Tanya!" She giggled. "I remember! H-Her face!" She shook in my arms with obvious merriment.

Although it might have been wrong of me, I began to laugh as well. When I thought about it, how wrong was it? Tanya got her just desserts.

We approached the room we'd be sharing and I laid her down on the bed provided. She sat up immediately, looking rather indignant at being treated like a sick person. Carlisle appeared in the doorway. He, I could see, was trying to hide a smile.

He looked Bella over, commenting on her warmth as I had. He also commented on her eyes, they were now lightly sparkled with red and orange hues, rather like fire.

He stepped back. "Well, Bella, I think I know what's wrong."

"What?" she asked anxiously.

"We've discovered your power."

Think it's serious, gone from bad to worse

_And I'm in trouble_

Bella visibly paled. This made me notice the rather rosy tone to her cheeks.

"I…what?" she breathed.

"It seems you have some sort of control over fire. Most likely, it needed something that made you angry to trigger it." Here he chuckled. "We'll have to experiment with this a bit. Come back outside, it doesn't seem as though there's anything wrong with you."

Shakily Bella took my hand, and we followed Carlisle back outside. I squeezed her hand reassuringly. Even though she was warm, she was still just as durable.

I think I'm coming down with something

_I know it gonna need your medicine_

She let Carlisle walk ahead of us and murmured to me, "Edward…I'm scared. What is this? Where did it come from?"

"Well, we're about to find out what it is, precisely. As for where it came from, I'm not quite sure…It may have something to do with the fact that you spent so much time with vampires, your warmth and our cold…I'm not sure." I answered thoughtfully. Even I had to admit her power was interesting.

Bella blushed as she returned to everyone. They were all waiting for her, and fell silent as she arrived. Emmett laughed at her reddened face.

"I've missed that," he commented cheerfully.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "All right, Bella. I need you to concentrate on lighting this." He gestured toward a pile of sticks and leaves they had gathered just before we arrived. "Make it as large as necessary, we'll work on controlling it later. We just need to ensure that you can ignite something without anger."

She nodded and then glanced up at me nervously.

So help me now, I'm freakin out, lover

I squeezed her hand again. She turned her head to the pile of vegetation. Everyone was quiet for a moment.

Then the pile ignited. I glanced at Bella, whose eyes were red again. Greedily the flames devoured the pile, and then, almost carefully they curled into themselves. I was surprised, most newborn vampires' powers took years to control on just a minor level. (_A/N: I know it's unrealistic, but I need it for the story!)_

Carlisle was pleased. "Very good, Bella, very good…" He trailed off here, and thought to me.

Edward, tell Bella something that would anger her—I need to see if she can set things on fire without any damage afterwards.

_I've got an idea!_ Alice screamed in her head. Carlisle must have almost said his words out loud, because she knew what we were talking about. I shook my head warningly at Alice when I heard what she had planned—I didn't want Bella _that_ angry.

Naturally, Alice ignored me and skipped over to Bella. She put her lips to Bella's ear.

"You know, Bella, Edward wasn't really a virgin before you. Tanya managed to first."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Very funny, Alice. Can we get back to practicing?"

"I'm not lying!" She said with wide, innocent eyes. "Just ask Edward!"

She turned to me expectantly. Misreading the anger in my eyes, hers narrowed.

"This isn't _true_, is it?" Bella asked sharply.

"Of _course_ it's true," Alice answered for me. "Why would I lie about something like this?"

"But why would you tell me _now, _of all times?"

"It just occurred to me, being that we're at Tanya's," Alice shrugged.

"This can't be true. You're all kidding with me." Bella looked around, disbelieving. No one knew what we were up to, but they knew enough to go along with the charade.

None of us was expecting it: we all jumped as everything burst violently into flames.

"YOU'RE KIDDING ME!" Bella screamed, furious. I couldn't help but notice that my fireless circle was becoming gradually smaller. "AFTER ALL THIS TIME, NOBODY SAID ANYTHING?" I also noticed that the flames didn't seem to affect Bella, she stood right in the middle of them, not damaged at all. However, I would be quite damaged if these flames got _any closer_… "I AM GOING TO RIP THAT WHORE TO PIECES!" I attempted to move around in my small space, avoiding fire. This wasn't good.

Emmett laughed then. "Don't worry, Bella, Edward was as virgin as you could get before you. Tanya didn't even get _close._"

The flames went down slightly, but didn't die. I could only stand perfectly still, my back like it had a rod down the spine.

"Well, who's lying?" Bella demanded.

"Me," Alice confessed cheerfully.

Once more, Bella looked to me, and the flames died completely. I murmured to her, "you don't _really_ think I'd lie about something like that, do you?"

She smiled, then scowled at Alice.

Carlisle spoke then, saying, "I needed someone to anger you to see if you could light a fire but leave no mark, when extinguished."

"Oh," she sighed. I rubbed her hand with my thumb soothingly.

It was a long time before Carlisle was satisfied. I was supporting her as we returned to our room.

"Oh, Edward," She said to me, suddenly sounding small and scared. "I can't imagine what you must think of me…trying to hurt Tanya…she's your family, and I'm just a stupid, impulsive newborn…"

"Bella," I said, shocked. How could she think of herself like that? She was the most perfect being on Earth. "You are the farthest thing from that! You are my love, my angel, and Tanya…" my fists clenched. "She's nothing to me, compared to you. She deserved what she got."

A little smile formed on Bella's face as we entered our room, and she stroked my face with her warm hand. "That's right…she was messing with a married man…_my _married man…" her perfect voice turned to a purr. "Tell me you're mine, Edward…"

"I'm yours," I whispered, her mouth was on my neck.

"Tell me I'm yours, Edward."

"You're mine," I growled.

"Show me."

I smiled as I tossed her on the bed.

_Well, now that I've got all the stupid setup crap out of the way, I can start with the plot! It'll be up in around a half an hour! Review! Love ya all to bits!_


	3. Screaming Her Name

I'm baaaack

_I'm baaaack! Here's the next chappie (I'm real damn fast, aren't I?)_

_For your reading pleasure, I now present to you, the third chapter of _

Serious

The Next Day

EPOV

"Bella, love," I murmured to her. It was noon, and Bella was practicing her power again. I could see it exhaust her. "You need to hunt."

She sighed. "But I need to practice…I'd hate to lose control with something as dangerous as this."

I stroked her hair. "I know, but you need to get some sort of energy…you're bound to be tired,"

She pouted, but nodded.

"Alice," I called. She appeared beside me.

"I know, I know, we're going," she rolled her eyes; Alice needed to hunt, too.

"I should probably stay. Alice wants me to start unpacking, she's been reminding me in her thoughts all day." Alice smiled smugly.

"Come on, Bella," Alice grabbed Bella's hand and dragged her into the forest, Bella blowing me a kiss as she went.

Slowly I trudged back to our room, Bella's absence already taking a toll on me. Being with her was like defying gravity; when she left, I felt heavy and bleak.

I smiled slightly as I took in the bed's disarray from last night. I made the bed, lost in memories of my beautiful Bella at her best. Finishing quickly, I was brought down to Earth by a small cough.

I tensed immediately, recognizing the scent and the porn-tinged thoughts. I pivoted slowly, denying the childish urge to retch as I took in the lingerie-clad figure in the doorway.

Tanya.

BPOV

Greedily I drained the wolf. Edward was right, I did need to hunt…my power was more tiring than I thought. Not to mention last night…I grinned at the thought of Tanya's reaction to _that_. Edward had never screamed my name so loud.

Straightening up, I glanced around in search of Alice. Quickly burying the wolf, I noticed Alice was nowhere to be found. I wasn't worried, but ran in the direction of her scent until I reached a clearing. Alice was crouched in front of a half-dead, twitching wolf, staring blankly ahead.

"Alice!"

She jumped at my voice, and turned to look at me, anger in her eyes.

"Tanya," she hissed, accidentally snapping the wolf's neck. It went limp. "She thinks she can seduce—" she spat the word—" Edward. She's cornered him, and she's wearing lingerie, and—"

That was all I heard.

Everything flashed past me in a haze of red as I tore back to the house, for once not feeling small and skinny and gentle. All I felt was a burning fury that materialized into the fire in my wake as I ran through the forest.

That _bitch_ wouldn't get away with this.

_This love is serious (everybody knows I'm mad for you)_

EPOV

I backed away from her, cringing at her X-rated thoughts.

"Edward," She licked her lips and I shuddered. "It's been too long since we've had some time alone. I remember them quite well—do you?" Yes, I remember quite well indeed—pushing you off me, calling you a whore, running away screaming through the forest. Simply _golden _memories. "To be honest, Edward, I'm quite disappointed in you…stringing poor little Bella along when we both know you really want _me_."

"Bella is my life," I spat.

"That can't mean much, considering you're dead."

"She makes me feel like I'm alive again—I love her with all my heart." I glared at her.

"Don't be ridiculous. I see how you look when you say her name—disgusted." Tanya sneered, cocking her hips to one side.

"That's funny, considering how loud he screamed it last night."

Tanya whirled around to see Bella in the doorway, eyes red with fury, vicious as a hunting panther. She looked like she'd like to rip Tanya apart.

You get me seriously out of my mind

"Look, we've got an audience," Tanya growled. She stared at Bella fiercely, and Bella's body seized up.

"Bella!" I shouted in horror. I couldn't believe I'd forgotten about Tanya's power—she can freeze people with her eyes only. Bella struggled uselessly, and Tanya swaggered up to her and slapped her across the face. I roared in fury and started across the room.

"Doesn't feel so good now, does it?" Tanya hissed.

I was inches from her when Bella cautioned me with her eyes, and I stepped back just in time.

With no warning whatsoever, Tanya was standing in a seven-foot tall ring of fire. She screamed, losing focus. Bella was free.

_And I am so into us (not gonna let no one get hold of you)_

"Looks like the tables are turned," Bella smirked, and reached through the fire and slapped Tanya, her wedding ring glinting.

"Never touch my husband again," She said, slapping her backhand this time, voice deadly. "Or I'll show you _real_ pain."

Flames reached in the circle, almost gently, and _just _touched the hand Tanya slapped Bella with. Tanya screeched as her cold stone flesh turned an impossible, angry pink, then faded to white again.

Baby, baby

_Cause this love is serious, we're seriously on to something_

The flames died, leaving no mark on the floor Carmen varnished so carefully. Shocked, frozen, I watched as Bella slowly walked toward me. "Edward," she said softly.

I started at my name, and immediately pulled her into my arms. I stroked her hair lovingly. "Bella," I breathed. "You are truly amazing…I will never let her touch you again!" I growled.

"I'm fine," She smiled a small smile. "But aren't you—"

I already knew she was going to ask if I was angry about what she did to Tanya, and I cut her off with my lips. Hers moved gently with mine.

"ISABELLA, YOU MAKE ME SICK!" Tanya screamed, then turned and flew out the door.

We paid her no attention as we livened our kiss, reveling in our success. I held her tight to me, her body sharing its warmth.

Lover, you love me like no one can

_And that's the next chapter. The next one will be out soon, later tonight…in a half hour or so. I need you to vote on what songfic I should write next. I've decided, since I have so many to write, I'll write them categorized by artist. Since this one is Gwen Stefani, I'll get all my Gwen Stefani fics out the way. So, which one next, Rich Girl or Cool? I'm not saying anything about the plot. So vote in a review, just type a name, and I'll know you care about my fics…although, if you really care, you'll leave me a nice, juicy review. Love you all!_


	4. An Outing!

Hey again! Did you like the last chapter? I did a live preview of this story…I don't know why the lyrics aren't coming out italicized! I think I'll underline them as well…Underlining seems to work better than italicizing.

_Sorry for the mixup! With love, here is the fourth chapter of:_

Serious

EPOV

It was a few hours later that I went downstairs, Alice shooing me out of the room to conference with Bella. She had been blocking her thoughts, but I wasn't sure I wanted to know when I heard roars of fury and maniacal laughter echoing from our room.

I sat down at their piano and began to play. It was a new piece I was working on, lively and cheerful, inspired by Bella (of course.). I planned it to me lengthy, so it kept me there for the evening as Alice held Bella captive. I wished she wouldn't do that; knowing that Bella was in the house but I couldn't see her was torturous.

Anyway, after a while, Alice came downstairs (_completely _Bella-less) and gave me instructions for a plan she was concocting with Bella. Apparently it was to foil Tanya's plan. The instructions were peculiar, to say the least…but it would most definitely be entertaining.

So if I'm crazy hope you understand

_Hurry doctor come, need to give me some_

_You know what time it is_

BPOV

I was sitting upstairs in mine and Edward's room, suppressing a cackle every now and then at Alice's genius plan. But still, of course, I couldn't repress the reactionary snarl when I heard the whore's breathy voice talking to _my_ husband.

"Hello, Edward," She said to him, obviously trying to be sexy. Judging by how his lively piano composure changed to Chopin's funeral march, I'd say it didn't work. "I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me tonight, to a nice place I know."

Although I knew it was all part of the plan, it still burned a little when he said, "Actually, Tanya, I'd love to." I could tell by his voice's undertone that the words sickened him. He sounded immediately more cheerful as he called, "Bella, love! We've been invited on an outing!"

Tanya's angry screech filled the house. "Edward! I invited _you,_ not _her!_"

His innocently confused voice answered, "But why would I go out somewhere without Bella? You couldn't possibly have meant it would only be you and I…that would be ludicrous."

"That's _exactly_ what I meant!" She was hissing like an angry cat.

"But what would we do?" He paused, mock-thoughtful. "I suppose we could find you a mate."

"UGH!" She stomped up the stairs, leaving a chuckling Edward. She barged into my room and I made a face at how little she was wearing. "DON'T THINK THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE COMING I WON'T! HE'S _MINE_!" She ran out in a fury as I laughed. We'll see about that.

I think I'm coming down with somethingI know it gonna need your medicineSo help me now, I'm freakin out, lover

Alice danced around me, looking feverish with excitement (hey, she managed it).

"Time for Part 2!" she sang, pushing me into the bathroom. I sighed, bracing myself for Alice's special form of torture.

EPOV

I paced downstairs next to the piano, wanting to see Bella. We had another hour until we were scheduled to go out. I was just cursing Alice for the 432nd time when a loud shriek tore through the house.

I could tell it wasn't Bella, but I ran upstairs all the same. Tanya was incoherent with rage.

"You-you-you-" She aimed a shaking finger at what I assumed to be Bella, the partly closed door was blocking my vision. Alice shoved me out the door as I was about to go in, screaming at me in her head.

_You can't see her yet! _She slammed the door in my face. _Don't worry, she can handle it._

Alice then stationed herself behind the door so I couldn't enter. The only way would be to break the door, but that was a last resort and she knew it.

"YOU BITCH!" Tanya was still screaming. I growled through the door. "HOW _DARE_ YOU FUCK UP MY COMPUTER! YOU HAD NO RIGHT—DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW _LONG_ THOSE TOOK ME?"

"First of all," Bella replied coolly. "I don't believe upgrading your computer was "fucking it up," as you so eloquently put it. It's not my fault some files were erased. Second of all," her voice turned furious. "I don't think _you_ have any right in fabricating those pictures!"

What? What pictures?

"It's not as though I'm going to lose, so why not take a little shortcut?" Tanya snarled.

"Maybe because it's a LIE!" Bella retorted. "Not to mention it would hurt Jasper, Alice, Edward, _and_ I!"

What was going on?

I attempted to break down the door, but Alice was still on the other side of the door.

"Well, just because you ruined my hard work doesn't mean he's going to choose you!"

"You're kidding me, right?" Bella snorted. "He already _has_. Now get out of my sight before I burn off those fake, cheesy knockoffs of yours,"

_Get out of the way, Edward, _Alice thought to me. I sprang away just in time.

Tanya was so angry she didn't even look at me. Alice had shut the door before I could do anything, so I called through it to them.

"Alice!" I groaned. "What happened?"

_Shut up, Edward. I'll tell you later. _She trilled in her head. A flash of images lighted her head. _No, wait, Bella will._

I dragged myself back downstairs, wondering why females always take so much longer to get dressed. I returned to the piano, which was recently becoming less of an adequate pastime. Time spent without Bella was time wasted.

It was within ten minutes of our departure that Alice _finally_ released my wife. And suddenly all that lost time was completely worth it.

She was stunning.

Bella wore a black velvet and silk dress, catching the light and muting it in all the right places. There were no straps, just the corset-like top. The front had silk ribbons crossing over velvet while the back had silk ribbons crossing over bare, white skin. There was a slit that went up to her knee, provocative, but not slutty.

Slutty would be the word I chose for what tripped down the stairs behind her. From the fleeting glance I spared her, I caught a lot of skin and racy, see-through material. I quickly soothed my burning eyes on Bella.

Partly to annoy Tanya and partly because I couldn't resist, I pulled Bella into my arms and kissed her, long and hard.

Tanya stomped out as Bella and I laughed. I put my arm around Bella's waist and guided her outside, ready to face what was sure to be and eventful evening.

_Sorry, not much happened in this chapter…it will all be revealed in the next chapter…well, mostly. Anyway, my mother's screeching at me now, so the next chapter will have to wait. (until either tomorrow or Monday) Do you want it? Do you really want it? THEN REVIEW! And also vote. I love you all! There will be two more chapters. See you later, honey babies!_


	5. Oh, God

Hello again

Hello again! Glad to see all of you again…did you review? Did you vote? If you didn't, then I'm going to be forced to do a mysterious fic, that no one will know about that I'm considering. The name of the next fic will be posted at the end of the last chapter. So, anyway, here is the fifth chapter of

Serious

Bella and I followed Tanya, lagging behind slightly so I could whisper to Bella, "What did Tanya do that got you so angry?"

She sighed quietly. "She took some pictures of you and me kissing, and of Jasper and Alice kissing, all on a digital camera. She put them on a file on her computer. That's why I upgraded it with Alice, so she'd lose the file. She photoshopped Jasper into your place and you into Jasper's. She'd show you and Alice the one of me and Jasper, and me and Jasper the one of you and Alice. That way you and I would split up, and we wouldn't have Alice's help anymore. A win-win."

I growled. Tanya was trying to separate two beautiful relationships—just to get to me. Not to mention how much she would have hurt Bella—my exquisite angel broken was more than I could handle. And then it hit me all at once—I had been letting Bella deal with this hateful woman. If Tanya even _thought _about touching my Bella again, I'd rip her apart myself.

"But luckily," Bella continued, "Alice saw it because she'd been especially watching Tanya. We upgraded her computer and I burned the pictures and deleted them on her camera. So, no worries." Bella sighed, knowing fully how close we'd come to having a major problem. We climbed into my car, and unfortunately, Tanya had already claimed the front passenger seat.

"It's okay," Bella whispered. "I'll manage." She sat in the seat behind mine.

_This love is serious (everybody knows I'm mad for you)_

_You get me seriously out of my mind_

A low snarl sounded from the back as Tanya put her hand on my leg. I looked up and saw she was leering at me.

"Please don't touch me, Tanya," I said through gritted teeth. She rolled her eyes and didn't move. The temperature began to rise. I plucked her hand off myself. My car on fire was something I didn't desire at all, no matter how much control Bella had. The temperature dropped, but only slightly.

_And I am so into us (not gonna let no one get hold of you)_

_Baby you're mine (you're seriously fine)_

A warm hand was in my hair then; a touch so different from Tanya's. She played with my hair and murmured to me, "Thank goodness you stopped her, I thought I would have to burn her again." Then her lips slid down my neck, and Tanya sighed loudly.

"Turn right here," She told me irritably. Her thoughts had taken a violent turn towards Bella, and I think Bella saw my eyes turn black because she whispered to me, "It's all right, calm down. I'll be fine, calm down." She knew me so well it was almost as though she could read my mind.

I stopped after a few more directions, in front of a trashy club. Bella's nose scrunched up in an adorable look of disgust. "Er…might I suggest something else?" she asked. "Look down the block. That place looks a bit nicer."

It did look nicer—a ballroom rather than a Hooters knockoff. I nodded in agreement. "That sounds good to me."

"But—" Tanya protested.

"Majority rules," Bella said smoothly, and returned to the car. Tanya was truly fuming now, and didn't speak as we drove down the street.

It was tasteful, to say the least. Elegant would be a good word, and I daresay it was amusing as the guests looked down upon Tanya in her inappropriate clothing. There were several chandeliers on the ceiling, and peach tiling paired with light colored wood. Large windows were draped in silk, with French doors leading to a trail. It was an event to raise money for a charity, and I insisted on paying.

Bella looked around, eyes shining. She was not used to going places like this, and she looked angelic with awe.

Tanya groaned and threw herself into a chair, grumbling about "gaudiness."

I rolled my eyes and offered my hand to Bella. "May I have this dance?"

"This and all the others," she giggled.

We danced for a long time, the humans giving us a wide berth all the while. I couldn't take my eyes off her. She glided like the angel she was.

But the few seconds her eyes strayed from mine, they saddened. "Look at her," she murmured. "She looks so sad. Maybe you should dance with her."

"_What?_"

"Just once."

I sighed loudly.

"Edward, what if I was in her place and she in mine? Would you have pity then?"

"_She _wouldn't let you have a dance," I spat. "And _you_ wouldn't go to the extremes she does."

"But _still._"

I sighed again. "Fine. But only once." This was ridiculous. Bella was too kind for her own good.

As the song ended, we walked over to where Tanya sulked in a chair. I couldn't exactly see how she looked sad, her face was pinched with anger.

"Tanya," I asked stiffly, "Would you like to dance?"

She leaped up, looking so eager I almost felt a prick of pity. She grabbed my hand and dragged me out on the dance floor. I looked back to where Bella sat calmly, not showing any signs of remorse or jealousy. Her eyes, however, burned a little as Tanya put my arms around her. There was a careful, friendly distance between us. I made sure to keep it that way.

It would be over soon.

BPOV

It only stung a little as I watched them. After all, I had suggested it, and Edward looked far from happy. But then I saw Tanya slumped in her chair, looking so defeated that I couldn't help but have pity on her.

"Bella!"

I whirled around, seeing Irina with wild eyes. What in the world could she be here for? Was there an emergency? Why would she come for me?

I looked back to Edward and Tanya, wondering if I should get them first.

"Bella!"

Her voice was pleading now, and I made my decision. I walked quickly through the double French doors, off the trail into the trees. I leaned toward her. "What's the matter?"

"I'm really, really sorry about this," She mumbled hesitantly. She took my forearms and closed her eyes.

Then everything went black.

EPOV

The song ended. I dropped my arms.

"Would you like to dance again?" She asked, batting her eyes moronically.

"No, thank you," I declined politely. I began to walk back towards where Bella had been.

"But Edward," she began, "I've been alone _all night_. Couldn't you spare me just one more dance?"

So she was playing the pity card. I wasn't about to fall for it, no matter _how_ much it pulled at my gentlemanly side.

"Please?" She suddenly sounded so tired. I turned.

"All right," I amended.

And you know I can't stand how the girls all wanna be

_Getting all up in my place_

Bella would not be happy. I looked around Tanya to reassure her with my eyes.

Where was she?

Tanya smiled slightly at a noise from the forest.

So get off of my man and don't try to mess with me

_Cause this love is serious, we're seriously on to something_

Oh, God.

How's that for a cliffie? If you're curious, I gave Irina Alec's power, it was necessary. I'm sorry, don't kill me!

_But anyway, this is when things get dramatic. I'll try my hand and you tell me what you think in a review! Remember to vote! Oh, and you might want to read my other works…Temptation, I'm Shakin', and Flourescent, (Yes, I accidentally spelled the title wrong! I'm not a robot!) Thanks for your support!_


	6. Enough is Enough

_Hello, loyal readers! Here is chapter six of Serious, when things get serious! I'm quite disappointed in you…I have but one review! weeps tragically My lone reviewer, __twilightobsession__, gets a cyber kiss from Edward. You probably wish you reviewed now…don't worry, I forgive you! But I would appreciate them!_

_Anyhoo, it's now in the third person omniscient and present tense, and things are starting to get _

Serious

On the dance floor, there is a large circle filled with but one beautiful couple. They waltz, and as they do, the circle widens at the subtle change in atmosphere.

Edward stops waltzing and stares Tanya straight in the eyes. In Edward's black eyes there is something that sends a burning chill down her spine. She ignores this feeling as he quietly suggests a walk in the nighttime air. He leads her through the French double doors, taking her hand. It is not as much contact as she desires, but it is enough.

The two walk to a secluded are darkened with shadows. Pale moonlight filters through leafy branches as Tanya burns with excitement.

Still Edward doesn't speak. He simply pins her against a tree and leans in. She closes her eyes.

Faster than she can scream, he spins her around a presses her into the harsh bark. His voice is a low, hoarse whisper. "Where is she?"

"W-What are you t-talking about?" Tanya stutters feebly, more frightened of him than she has ever been.

"You know exactly what—_who_—I'm talking about." He hisses, pressing her still further into the rough bark.

"I really don't,"

A high, screeching sound pierces the air like knives on glass. Edward scrapes his teeth against the stone flesh of her neck as she shakes violently. "Let me tell you something, Tanya," he says, his voice just a quiet whisper on the wings of the wind. "Bella brings out the light in me. Without her, I am not as you see me. I am not as you want me. So it was useless for you to pursue me anyway," He chuckles humorlessly. "Because without Bella, I highly doubt that you, who took her from me, would want to be within a thousand miles of me."

And now Tanya sees what chilled her in the first place—a cold, manic gleam in his eye. The look of a man who is focused on one thing, and would do anything and everything to get it.

"If I return, and so much as a fingernail has been harmed on her, I promise you, I will show you no mercy." His voice is ice, deadly, and then there is a slap of cold air as he vanishes into the night.

Tanya sinks to the ground, rubbing her throat gingerly. She wonders how she could have thought to do any of this in the first place. If he was going to kill her if she was merely injured, how could he ever be with her? Besides that, the idea of being with him when he was this…this _beyond reason_ was frightening.

It is now, and only now, that Tanya realizes her mistakes.

Bella is lying in Irina's room in the Denali mansion with a distraught Irina. Irina wrings her hands as she wonders what she's doing is right. She ignores the tugging in her gut as she pictures what she'll be able to do once this is done. She mutters, "Well, here goes nothing."

Bella awakes and gasps. "Where am I?" She turns to Irina, eyes narrowing. "Why did you bring me back here? You're with _her_, aren't you? Well, enough is enough!" Her eyes glow red.

"No! Wait! Please," Irina pleads. "Listen to me,"

"Why should I?" Bella scowls.

"Because," Irina steels herself. "Because Edward's gone."

Bella's red eyes dim slowly. "W-What?"

"He's gone. He wanted me to tell you that you and Tanya's feud has gone too far, and that enough's enough."

"No," she whispers, swaying slightly. "He was just dancing with me—with Tanya—" and then she remembers his impatient sighs as she pushed him to Tanya. Selfishly she'd thought it was because he didn't want to part with her. Was this what they were really for? "No—you're lying to me,"

Irina forces herself to look at Bella's broken face. "Why would I lie about something like this, Bella? I know how much he meant to you."

Meant. Meant. The word echoes in Bella's head. Was he really, truly gone? He would just leave, without even saying goodbye?

She understands that their feud may have taken a toll on him—but he had never _really_ showed it. Was there something else? Of course. Her power. Why would he _want_ her anymore, anyway? An out-of-control newborn with an out-of-control power. This must be why he didn't say goodbye—because it was real this time. This was her worst fear of changing, that their love would change as well. And now, it's her reality.

Irina watches her weave some sort of impossible logic through her words. It's mind-altering, watching Bella's eyes deaden. Irina's heart goes out to her, but it is worth it for what Tanya promised her.

Bella comes to a conclusion. "So it's true, then." Her voice is emotionless, cold like death. "He's gone."

"I'm sorry," Irina offers lamely.

Somewhat dazedly Bella stands up and begins to walk out the door.

"Where are you going? Stay!" Irina cries, Bella can't leave the room.

Bella turns to Irina. "Then you kill me."

Irina, shocked, horrified, sputters, "W-What?"

"Kill me." Bella looks at Irina with lifeless, icy eyes. "Nobody will miss me now. I've no one to live for. I've nothing to live for. He—" She can't say his name, can barely say he, "doesn't want me. I need him, without him…please…please kill me."

Irina's eyes are wide with terror as she says, "I can't Bella…I can't." How could she have known that this would happen? Tanya hadn't said anything about something like this!

Bella laughed without mirth. "Well, being that you already have in essence, what's the point of having me alive, anyway?" Irina shudders. "If you care so much about me dying, you _should_ kill me…you'd probably show me more mercy than the Volturi."

"The-the Volturi?"

"Yes," Bella's emotionless voice shows echoes of impatience. "Either you can kill me here, or I'll go to the Volturi, but please—" Bella's eyes are a freezing, throbbing black as the pain in them makes Irina wonder which is worse for her—life or death. "—decide. Don't make me suffer any longer."

Irina comes to a decision. "Bella, I'm sorry, but I won't—but listen! It's because—"

But before Irina can right her wrong, two things happen simultaneously.

At Irina's word, Bella pulls fire from the air and burns her own hands with it, relinquishing her immunity. They color a violent pink and she screams in pain and in happiness the release the pain gives her.

At the same time, the door is ripped from its hinges as a mindless roar of fury shatters the air. Edward stands in the doorway, looking deranged with rage.

_This love is serious (everybody knows I'm mad for you)_

Upon seeing each other, both vampires freeze, staring into each other's eyes with similar looks of fear.

You get me seriously out of my mind

Something seems to pass between them, and then Edward is across the room, covering Bella with kisses. Bella is sobbing tearlessly, saying his name again and again.

_And I am so into us (not gonna let no one get hold of you)_

_Baby, you're mine_

"Edward," Bella cries quietly. "Don't leave, I won't fight with her, I promise…"

You got me so delirious I'm under your control

"What are you talking about?" Edward frowns. "I didn't leave, _you_ got taken…"

Bella's face is confused, then aware, then furious. "You. Lied. To. Me." She turns red eyes on Irina, who cowers. "You were working with Tanya all along! I was about to _kill_ myself and you just _sat_ there—"

"You were about to _what?_" Edward's eyes turn black.

Bella fidgets slightly and her cheeks turn pink. "She told me you left… and it's not you wouldn't have done the same thing."

Point it at me if you must, your arrow's got me poisoned

_Tell me what my treatment is, your love's got me insane_

"You and I are going to have to have a talk," He says sternly, as though scolding a child. "How many times have we discussed this? No matter what might happen to me, you are _not allowed to kill yourself!_" Bella makes a face at him. It's not as though she won't if something _does _happen, or vice versa. "Not to mention you are _never to burn yourself again._"

She pouts ever so slightly. _Hypocrite._

"Now," He turns to Irina. "What exactly did you say to Bella?"

After a pause in which it becomes obvious that Irina is not going to answer, Bella says, "She told me you left because you were sick of me and Tanya fighting over you." Her voice trembles slightly and Edward holds her tighter.

"T-Tanya told me to do it," Irina stutters, "Sh-She said if I d-did, and Bella went away, that she—and you—w-would let me go to Forks and take care of those dogs."

"Why would I let you go?" Edward asks in a cold voice.

"S-She said that you and her would be together by then."

Bella snarls and Edward rubs her back soothingly.

"I hope Tanya knows that because of what happened—" he pulls Bella's hands to his heart—" and because of what almost happened, I no longer consider her family. "

"Edward, no—" Bella protests, but Edward puts a finger to her lips.

"No, Bella. She's gone too far." He pulls her to him, and murmurs in her ear. "I advise you to go easy on Irina, it's not so much her fault. I have…something to deal with."

Her lips tremble. "No," she mouths. "Don't leave me, not yet,"

My prescription is a kiss, and boy you got me wantin it

Her words are muted as he enraptures her with a single kiss and a single whisper, "I'll be back before you can miss me."

Then all that is left of him is cold air and a lingering scent.

Bella turns to Irina. Irina backs up to the doorway.

"Don't run," Bella says quietly. "I'm not going to hurt you." Her voice, however, tells a different story, as does her face. All the same, Irina relaxes slightly. Bella continues, "Do you have any idea how much those words hurt me? I was fully ready to end my existence—because and existence without Edward isn't one." Irina is perfectly still, perfectly silent. "I don't think you understand me. Shall I show you?"

Before Irina can run, before she can move, before she can think, Bella's eyes burn red. Irina is bathed in a fury of golden flames, caressing her, seeming to slash through her. She convulses with the agony, her eyes rolling back into her head.

But she is silent.

And as quickly as it began, it vanishes, leaving no more evidence than a dream.

_This love is serious (everybody knows I'm mad for you)_

_You get me seriously out of my mind_

"That," Bella says softly. "Was a percent of a _fraction_ of a percent of what I was feeling. I know exactly what you were feeling, and the most I could have increased it to would be a percent of what I was feeling. Because nothing can ever amount to the pain of his absence." Irina trembles from the floor, wondering why she ever did any of this. But something told her she'd do it again in an instant, if it meant she could destroy those mutts. Her remorse is minimal. "Now go," Are Bella's final words to her. "At my mercy."

Irina vanishes.

Bella sighs, and prepares herself to wait for Edward's return. She is rather happy that Edward hadn't been there to see that. She can't help but wonder what he is doing.

_And I am so into us (not gonna let no one get hold of you)_

"Bella!" A high-pitched scream sounds from the doorway. Bella turns to Alice in alarm. "Edward's going to…he's going to kill Tanya."

_Dun dun dunnnn! Are you sitting on the edge of your seats? Okay, well, are you biting your nails? Fine, are you at least a little curious? That's all I needed. Stay tuned! It'll be up later tonight. Review and vote!_


	7. Righting Wrongs

_Sorry you guys had to wait! I got kicked off the computer for the night by my father…ugh. But anyway, here's the chapter where all shall be revealed! (And I warn you, I'm a sucker for dramatic speeches.) Will Bella and Tanya fight? Will Edward kill Tanya? Will Tanya ever take the hint? Find out in the seventh, final chapter of_

Serious

Third Person Omniscient POV

It's almost as though Bella expected this. She sighs. "Let's go, Alice."

Soon they are speeding back to the house's end, following Edward's potent scent. After a few minutes of frantic running, they are lead to their usual hunting place. There is a clearing, and Alice stops Bella before she enters.

Edward circles Tanya slowly as she says, frightened, "W-Why did you bring me here?"

"I promised you, Tanya," His voice is quiet, deadly. "I told you that if Bella was hurt when I found her, I would come back for you."

"H-How was she hurt?"

"She purposely burned herself with her fire. She almost _killed_ herself, because of you, as well," he snarls.

"Those are both self-inflicted!" Tanya sputters indignantly.

"However, Tanya," his voice is an angry purr. "The only reason she did these things was because she was told something…because she was told a lie."

"What might that be?" She struggles to look innocent, but her eyes are flickering with guilt and fear.

I think you know." His voice and face darkens even more.

"I-I-"

"Don't deny it, Tanya!" He growls. "She was broken, distraught, _suicidal_, and it was all because of you! Time and time again you've hurt her, and I've stood by. Well, no more." He shifts into a crouch. "And that, _that,_ is the reason I brought you here, Tanya. To right my wrongs." His eyes narrow. "To right _your_ wrongs."

"P-please," Tanya pleads, shaking. "We're cousins—we've been cousins for over fifty years!"

"You're no cousin of mine," The words pierce her like ice. "Goodbye, Tanya."

He lunges.

"No!"

Bella steps out and Edward freezes.

"Bella?"

"Edward," She runs to him and takes both his hands in hers. "Don't—don't do it. She made lots of mistakes. But I can take care of it, we can get past it—make no mistake, she _will_ be punished. I won't leave it to this. But if you want her dead so badly, let _me _do it. I don't want another death staining your heart." She stares into his eyes pleadingly.

"You know I'll do anything for you," he sighs. "But I'm doing _this_ for you. I've done nothing while you've fought with her; all of this is my fault. But if you don't want me to kill her, I won't." Bella hugs him fiercely. "But I'm not about to let you fight."

"And I'm not about to listen to you," She smiles softly. "Ask Alice—she already knows I'm going to win. So go back to the house, I expect we won't be here much longer."

"But—"

"Edward, shush," Alice began to pull him from the clearing. "This is her fight, no matter how much you don't want to admit it. Now come on before I have to resort to drastic measures!"

"And what would those be?" He asks skeptically.

"Jasper," She chirps. He cringes.

"Fine," He mutters sullenly. "But if she is hurt even one bit—"

"She's not, now stop moaning and _come on._"

Alice pulls a grumbling Edward from the forest as Bella turns to Tanya.

"Tanya," Bella says softly, eyes already red. "I just want to say to you that when I came here, I was fully ready to try to cooperate with you, I was hoping you'd be understanding when you saw we were married. I was perfectly willing to be friendly with you, but it seemed that you had other plans. Rivalry." She laughs. "It wasn't my fault he chose me. I could see where you were coming from…I went easy on you. But if you think, that after what you did tonight, I will ever forgive you, you are sadly mistaken." The trees and grass started to smoke. "I saw what you did to Edward; I saw the pain in his eyes." She steps closer and Tanya steps back. "I'm not going to kill you, I'm not cruel. But I'm certainly not going to pity you any more."

With that, Bella's eyes are suddenly filling the forest with a horrifying red light. She beckons to Tanya. "Come on, Tanya. Aren't you up to a fight?"

At that instant, Tanya makes the decision—to fight for her honor. She leaps through the air, freezing Bella—but Bella's red eyes are smirking.

Just before she reaches Bella, a wall of fire materializes from the air, and Tanya screams as her entire front burns red at the contact. She attempts to reach a hand through the flames, and they encase her hand…exploding violently.

The entire forest is dancing in the fury of blue and red flames, and Tanya flies back across the forest. Tanya cowers as Bella walks to her, hips swaying. She glows with an inexplicable white heat, and she slaps Tanya but once across the face. A red handprint is stained there for the length of time Bella hisses,

"Never touch my husband again."

With that, a small flame singes Tanya's hair into a perfectly straight cut, and Bella takes the hair, spinning and dancing from the forest.

Edward is waiting at the kitchen table, and he only looks up as she slaps a handful of strawberry-blonde hair under his nose. A slow smile spreads across his face, and he takes her face into his hands as he stands up, leaning in until her lips are but a breath away.

Baby, you're mine

"I told you," His breath falls into her mouth, her lips trembling in anticipation, "I prefer brunettes."

A kiss.

_I hope you liked it! Please please PLEASE review! I only have four! And vote—you have until tomorrow, or else the next songfic will be "Girl" By Destiny's Child. It won't be bad, but you won't have gotten to choose! Cyber kisses from Edward to my lone reviewers! It's been fun, friends!_


End file.
